Say What You Need to Say by J. Adams

Author:J. Adams [Adams, J.]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Literature & Fiction, United States, African American, Romance, Contemporary, Multicultural, 90 Minutes (44-64 Pages), Multicultural & Interracial
Amazon: B007QTE6OY
Publisher: Jewel of The West
Published: 2012-04-02T04:00:00+00:00

* * *

During the following weeks, Jagger is true to his word and there is never a dull moment, because nearly every waking moment is spent together. We stay busy during the day with work around the ranch, and no matter what Jagger is doing, he always finds things close by for me to do to help, including milking the two cows. We joke about giving them liquor every now and then to keep breakfast interesting, and maybe keep the neighbor supplied with sedation for Jess and James. Jagger says he needs to be near me and adds in a simpering drawl that he can't function unless I'm there for him to look at.

When the work day is done, I always change into my usual attire: long, billowy Bohemian skirts, lacy tank tops and crocheted shrugs, long beaded necklaces, and ballerina flats. I've always dressed this way and it makes me feel feminine. The first time Jagger comes to the house to pick me up and take me out to dinner, he grins and says, “I'm datin' a beautiful hippie.”

I jab him with my elbow. “I am not a hippie! Being a hippie makes me think of drugs and free love.”

He takes my hand. “Well, while I'm glad you don't do the drug thing, the free love is somethin' I could work with.”

“Jagger, I swear, you are impossible!”

“And you wouldn't want me any other way, would ya?”

Looking into his eyes I shake my head no. I wouldn't want him to be any other way, because Jagger says with sincerity, exactly what I need to hear–what every woman needs to hear.

Most evenings we sit on the bunkhouse steps and talk of everything we can think to talk about. He is excited about taking over his grandfather's cabin rental business and he wants to take me to see it, but somehow there always seems to be a reason for me not to go. I know it disappoints him, but he never lets it show, just always assures me there will be a next time.

I spend the time we are away from one another pondering my plight regarding my fear of him discovering the secret I'm keeping from him. Mama says I should just come straight out and tell him. She doesn't think it will make a difference. But I keep telling myself it doesn't matter if I don't tell him because soon he will be gone and no longer in my life.

This is what I tell myself.

Over and over.

The thing is, I'm beginning to have a hard time listening.

In all this time, not once has Jagger kissed me, or even tried. He is content to just hold me or take my hand in his. I am a little disappointed because I know just one touch of his lips against mine would be the most heavenly thing I've ever experienced. But I also accept that it is probably for the best. It will be easier on my heart. And yes, despite my efforts to keep my seesawing emotions at bay, my heart is completely involved now, and utterly his.

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